January 13, 2025
Refine and Polish Your Social Skills
Hello, and Happy New Year! Now that the blizzard is over and we are all peeking our heads out of the house, it's time to think about what we want to accomplish in 2025. If you are in the workplace, you may be faced with goals, both personal and team. You will develop strategies to achieve these and will be accountable for your production. These things have to do with technical aptitude, or, the training and education you have received in order to perform your job.
But, have you ever thought of how your social skills can impact your performance? Harvard, Stanford and The Carnegie Foundation conducted a study and found that 85% of job success results from establishing well-developed social skills. It follows that only 15% of your professional success is due to technical aptitude.
People connect with people they identify with, like, and with whom they feel comfortable. Here are some ideas for improving your social skills in the new year:
Expand your knowledge, making it easier to have a good conversation. Read and listen!
Focus more on what people are saying and spend less time on your devices.
Look for fresh, new opportunities; volunteer and join new groups.
Network intentionally. Attend functions where you will be with likeminded people.
Stand above the crowd. Stand up instead of sitting at a function. Be the first to greet someone and introduce yourself. Make eye contact and listen intently. Take a genuine interest in the other person.
Consider taking a brush-up course in etiquette. Whether it is an office "lunch-and-learn" or a multi-session class, an etiquette class can be a great way to polish your social skills. Contact me to schedule a class!
September 21, 2023
The Etiquette of Condolences
We have all struggled to find words to say to a friend or family member who has lost a loved one. So what is the best thing, and the proper thing to say? And, what else should we do?
It is always appropriate to express your sympathy in a way that shows respect for the grieving person. It is usually best to make a brief comment. Sometimes, just a few words and a hand squeeze or hug can be the best thing.
You may be tempted to avoid speaking to the grieving family altogether, but that isn't respectful. Rather than avoiding them, carefully consider what words would be the most comforting. Keep personalities and relationships in mind and remember to keep things brief. If you don't know the people well, a hand-written note is appropriate.
The funeral visitation may be your first opportunity to express you sympathy. Keep in mind what the grieving family has been through, recently. They are most often physically tired and emotionally exhausted. It is not the time for lengthy conversations. Offer condolences, hug the person, if appropriate, and step aside to allow the next person to visit.
If you've read this far and are anxiously awaiting the "magic words," there aren't any. But, "I am so sorry" is always a good place to begin. And, those four words may be all that are needed.
I do have one "don't" to add. Please do not say, "If there is anything I can do, please let me know." There are often things that need to be done, but the grieving friend probably won't ask. After the funeral, simply call and let them know you are bringing a meal next Wednesday. Or, say you'll be coming to mow the lawn on Saturday. Don't wait for a request for help. See where help is needed and jump in!
Finally, stay in touch! People do need time alone in their grieving process, but they also need to be with other people. Phone, occasionally, just to check on them. Make a coffee or lunch date. Take a meal to share with them. Ask if they would like to join you for a walk. Don't be a pest, but make yourself available.
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Hello Friends!
Welcome to our site! I am using this first entry to introduce myself and share why I am so passionate about teaching etiquette. Future posts will be on various topics, and I welcome your questions!
Here we go! I am a wife, mother of 3 and Nana to eight amazing humans. My mother was a stickler for good manners and proper behavior, in and out of our home. Thanks, Mom! Couple that with my love of rules (sorry, kids) and you have the foundation for this adventure. Then, 22 years ago, my husband, youngest daughter and I moved to Collierville, Tennessee. Y'all, southern hospitality is real! The people are remarkably friendly and welcoming. They are also very well-mannered. Parents teach their children to say "Ma'am" and "Sir" when addressing adults. Children are well-behaved and do not interrupt adult conversations. They genuinely respect others and treat people with kindness. And I thought, if they can achieve respectful behavior in the South, why can't we do the same in the Midwest?
Finishing Touches School of Etiquette was born shortly after we returned to St. Joseph in 2006. Using what I already knew and studying several other sources, I began offering classes for children. Since that time, I have taught classes for all ages and walks of life. I enjoy every class I teach and every event at which I present.
The word "etiquette" can bring thoughts of snobbish behavior and the elite social class. Or it can strike fear because you don't really know proper dining protocol. But really, the heart of etiquette is considering others, being respectful and kind. Everything else, as they say, is gravy. Of course, I teach dining etiquette along with proper introductions, how and when to write a thank-you note, social media safety and etiquette, interview skills and other things related to etiquette. But let's face it; if we are aware of others needs and we practice kindness and respect, who really cares which fork you use? (Well, I actually do, but maybe no one else will.)
My goal is to enable my students to feel at ease in any social setting. The things they need to know should be second-nature so that they are able to enjoy people and events without worrying about proper protocol. Etiquette is used throughout our lives in our work, school, church, at the gym and every time we interact with others. Yes, even when we order fast food, check out at the store and decide whether or not to let someone merge in front of us. It is to be learned and practiced, practiced, practiced!
Let's return to civility. I invite you to come along on the journey to better manners, respect, honesty and consideration for others. I want to live in that kind of world and I'm guessing you do, too. We can make it happen!
What would you like to see in future blogs? Do you have a question you've always wanted to ask? I would love to hear from you!
Thanks for stopping by!
Blessings,
Vicki